THE YUMMY WAY PODCAST

Reality vs What You Think About It

Danét & Lar Palmer

In today’s podcast episode we’re talking about how we’re constantly getting derailed from presence in the moment we’re in, by jumping into reacting to the stimuli in front of us as if we’re actually part of it. We leave our presence in favor of judgement about what should or shouldn’t be happening — or what so-and-so shouldn’t or should be saying. But it’s not even our reality. 

The moment in front of you is reality. What’s happening right here and now. For example, what’s actually happening is you are sitting holding your phone and looking at the screen and reading your newsfeed. Perhaps you’re doomscrolling what’s happening in Ukraine or the political scene or what someone posted on FB.

You’re noticing you’re feeling upset about what your reading. Because you don’t like what you’re reading. You make judgements about the thing you’re reading as if you’re a participant in the scenario you’re reading about. You’re taking sides mentally. Now, you tell someone else about it as if it is a real thing. 

But the actuality of you’re reality is that you’re sitting looking at a phone screen and the rest is imagination, based on your conditioned beliefs and sense of self.  

Lar talks about a situation he read about on his newsfeed and how he instantly judged the situation and what that said about who persons involved were. 
But by bringing it to the light of awareness and into conversation, he saw the short-term payoff of self-righteous judgement, and furthermore, he was able to see that his judgment was a reaction based in a set of fearful beliefs about what ‘might’ happen if they are right. 
But with further exploration, we were able to see that imaging what should and shouldn’t happen is a fantasy to give us a false sense of control over what we actually have no control over. 
It’s way outside of being present and accounting to your immediate choice of how we want to experience what’s happening. When you notice that you’re caught up in the scenario, as if it is your reality, that’s a prefect opportunity to see where it is you are holding yourself.

What’s happening is not what’s bothering you — What you thinking about it, is what’s bothering you. But what’s happening is actually always innocent. Life is happening, and what we’re experiencing is our reaction to the information coming into our moment and we decide whether we’re going to bother ourselves with it or not. By accepting it all, our hearts become available to add love to the collective energy pool.

Judgment can seem automatic — especially when we’re doomscrolling our newsfeeds, right?
But reality is this moment. You’re reading information on a screen.  It’s just words on a screen, actually. You’re having a reaction to what you’re reading,  you can notice your attaching your identity to what you think is a ‘right side’ of it, and that tells you that you have a belief that there’s a right and wrong. You can ask yourself: how much do you want to attach to that stance?  How much peace are you willing to sacrifice to that ‘rightness?’ 

In order to restore yourself to peace, you have to accept all of it. Accepting lets your whole being come into play. And with it, the ability to make a choice that is more aligned with your whole being — your essential being.

Experiences happen and as they happen, if we let them move though us — that’s experiencing life. 
Love is a power that needs nothing else. We have this moment before us, and our experience of it. 
Ask yourself, in each given moment, what is your integrity? 
Remind yourself:
It’s not my business to condone or to judge. 
It’s my business to accept reality as it is in my reality. 
But I can be conscientious about where I’m coming from and what I’m going to do with it. 

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