In today’s podcast we’re talking about vulnerability.
How often do we enter encounters with others from a preconceived idea of what we think the situation requires of us and then play the role we believe we need to play to get approval or acceptance?
Do you filter your authentic self based on the mental constructs you’ve built from past perceptions which make you feel less vulnerable? Do you hide your most authentic self?
Why?
Perhaps you’ve been vulnerably honestly yourself in the past and it wasn’t received with love or kindness. Or maybe you’ve even felt it was used against you.
So you create a belief that if you are authentically and honestly yourself, it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. You tell yourself you can’t be totally honest and open because you’re going to get in trouble if you do.
And this justifies playing a role based on past perception, rather than just showing up and being you.
The thing is, what you’ve done is given something or someone outside yourself to determine your okayness.
If we’re waiting for the outside world to show us enough acceptance and non-judgement to tell us it’s safe to be ourselves, then we are at the mercy of circumstances and people. Honesty is missing in this equation. So everyone is role-playing and nothing truly authentic and present is happening because it’s all being run through ‘fear of vulnerability’ filters.
Living vulnerably as your authentic self requires self-awareness and self trust.
Know thy self.
This is the first step in shifting from externally based operating, to showing up in as you truly are, openly expressing yourself honestly and trusting yourself to handle what happens.
The key is paying attention the way the energies feel inside. Becoming really intimate with them is the gift of waking up to our true authentic self. These energies are always telling us if we’re coming from love or fear, by the way we feel. Yummy or icky?
What we call our yummy-stat. When we’re in fear of being ourself, the energy tightens up. And the experience life is offering can’t flow through us. It feels icky.
It’s telling us we’re about to be less than wholly true to ourselves.
What it really gets down to is letting go of the outcome of what will happen when we’re honestly us... If we’re looking outside ourselves for validation then we’re never going to know our own worth. If we want to know ourselves in all the situations in our lives, we have to take the risk to be authentically ourselves, tell our truth as fast as we’re aware what it is, and let the chips fall where they may.
When we love ourselves, we know that whatever happens, we can trust ourselves to deal with it. Our worth isn’t attached to the outcome, but center within our being.
We’ve always already won because we’re not waiting on something outside ourselves to prove our worthiness.
This is why our yummy-stat is so powerful. As soon as we feel that tightening, icky feeling inside, we know that we are stepping away from authenticity, and trying to control our vulnerability. We can pause, soften around the perception construct in our belief system, and recenter back in our true self. It is only from this place of authentically being ourselves that we get to experience the fullness of the the experience life is offering us in any given moment.
Life is vulnerable. We never know what’s going to happen. The story that we can control that is a lie. It’s nothing to be afraid of. The more you tell the truth and be true to yourself, the more it becomes the only way that feels right.
Only by being you can you know the innate joy that lets all outcomes be acceptable. You can’t help but love yourself, when you’re showing up for you. This is the upside of living from vulnerability as your authentic self.